it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
