chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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