There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
