remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
