you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
