So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
