Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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