When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
