Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
