I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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