i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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