I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said her name was "party"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
