i barfeds in our rink
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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