he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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