Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
