So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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