Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
