wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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