Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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