I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
