Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
