office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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