My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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