I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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