I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
