Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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