What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
