she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this just has baby written all over it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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