Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
