Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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