Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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