Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
