you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
