i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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