I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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