Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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