i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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