It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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