My liver just broke up with me...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
