Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
