HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need water and some morals
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
