I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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