Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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