All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
