Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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