He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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