can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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