First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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