Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
