just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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