last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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