so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
