note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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