Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
