I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
