Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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