We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
