he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
