brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize