Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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